Friday, September 04, 2009
pretty crap morning. felt a bit more than just miffed but just trying to remain positive. so yeah. anyways tried cooling down by rereading the time traveler's wife (still pissed about the movie). of course, a phrase in the book caught my attention so i put the quote on my msn nick. on hindsight given my crummy morning, it was a bit disturbing to see 'a drop of blood in a bowl of milk' as part of my nick.
so yeah, no, i'm not feeling suicidal. miserable maybe but not suicidal. i guess, i like the quote very much. i used to play with paints and i think i really liked it when i had a cup of white colored water and then you throw in a drop of thick, zesty red. at first its like a blemish on the surface before it starts 'bleeding'. eventually the red and white settles and you end up with this nearly pepto-bismol pink with white swirls.
i dunno. its this weird serenity i get from it. does that make me weird? not really. i don't see the need to fit people's expectations (except oddly on occasion, i try and fail at my parents').
anyways back to the topic. i guess, it reminds me that even setbacks will pass. that i haven't been seeing the big picture. eventually like the red, unhappy events get swallowed up and sometimes forgotten in the sea of everything. its whether i let myself be happy, or if i choose to focus on all the negativity (of course, karma's gonna kick my ass if i let that happen). but whatever the case, it just becomes a part of me.
so yeah, no, i'm not feeling suicidal. miserable maybe but not suicidal. i guess, i like the quote very much. i used to play with paints and i think i really liked it when i had a cup of white colored water and then you throw in a drop of thick, zesty red. at first its like a blemish on the surface before it starts 'bleeding'. eventually the red and white settles and you end up with this nearly pepto-bismol pink with white swirls.
i dunno. its this weird serenity i get from it. does that make me weird? not really. i don't see the need to fit people's expectations (except oddly on occasion, i try and fail at my parents').
anyways back to the topic. i guess, it reminds me that even setbacks will pass. that i haven't been seeing the big picture. eventually like the red, unhappy events get swallowed up and sometimes forgotten in the sea of everything. its whether i let myself be happy, or if i choose to focus on all the negativity (of course, karma's gonna kick my ass if i let that happen). but whatever the case, it just becomes a part of me.
what we could have been, 2:23 pm.
